May 2009
3 posts
Re: Heyzueus Kristo
And Alan sleeps with men for free!
<3 B
Heyzueus Kristo
If we just get that baby to the gym he is going to be one good looking kid. If any of you are ever thinking about getting emotionally involved with Brynn H. then think again. I loved her completely and she completely shit on my heart. She’s a careless prostitute. That’s not an insult. She literally sleeps with men for money.
6 tags
April 2009
1 post
Alright
I do miss her. The creditors won’t stop calling. Unhealthy. Complain complain bitch bitch moan moan. Unpleasant, unpleased.
February 2009
2 posts
Maybe
However, my car is still mega fucked, I’m strapped for cash constantly, I need proper healthcare, and Brynn isn’t in California. So that’s a lot of fucking up right there. And I’m sure I’ll be screwing the pooch soon.
7 tags
Closing Time?
Is it time to shut this tumblog down? Alan and E are finally back together meaning sunshine rays and lemon drops in Alan’s world and I finally got a job meaning I have a steady income in the time of an ecomonic depression. [We won’t touch my love life.] All in all, however, it seems things are looking up for Alan and I. Should we keep this puppy up or shut it down? Send us some...
January 2009
6 posts
7 tags
My friend back at college told me...
…my old R.A. brought up underage drinking in the 2nd semester meeting [because of me]. I’m so proud.
I am too cool.
But for many other reasons. I’m going out right now to get all ‘tipsy’. Let’s see if I don’t fuck up.
Also I have more stories, but those will wait for tomorrow.
Love, Alan
who loves Brynn.
sometimes.
6 tags
Unable to reblog, but here's Brynn's latest... →
Everyone be mean to Alan. He’s abandoned this blog in a time of need and he doesn’t care about the little people. Alan’s got a tattoo now, he’s too cool for school this blog. Wait, I have a tattoo…does that make me cool too?
December 2008
22 posts
Brynn is a pussy apparently
It didn’t hurt that much. I guess I’m just ALL THAT IS MAN.
OK it hurt a little. And I wish she was there to hold my hand. Actually, I just want to hold Brynn’s hand all the time. But she don’t buy my love.
6 tags
Bitter:Sweet- The Mating Game
You know why I...
4 tags
=
Alan just txted me and is on his way to get an equal sign tattooed on his forearm. I am excited/nervous for him, mainly because I’ve always wanted to get two black bars done on my left forearm*, just below the bend and also the fact that it’s going to hurt like hell.
* I later decided against it when I got my “waves” or “squiggly lines” on my back done.
5 tags
What's a Girl to Do?
I have yet to ever experience the joy of falling over and over again on my ass in the freezing cold snow. I have never surfed, skied, nor skateboarded.
Snowboarding tomorrow for my sister’s birthday should be a blast. And if I can find my camera, I’ll try to video it even though it will most likely be of me sitting in the snow, cursing the wind.
I'm a genius.
In about 5 hours Christmas 1 starts and then Christmas 2 with the other part of the family soon follows. I should be getting sleep for the cavalcade of awkward family gathering but I’m up watching Entourage and tumbling. Good call, yeah?
alan
Dear Brynn
Fuck em.
Also, good luck this holiday season. I myself will be toasted while navigating through a meeting of extended family. All of whom believe me to be the fuck-up of the family. I never call! I never write! If I plan things correctly I can hit both gatherings in under 3 hours and be home by bed-time (bottle time). Which, actually, is all the time. Starting now.
Good luck everyone! I love...
5 tags
It’s almost Christmas time and you know what that means. Family. Wes Anderson’s commercial for The Royal Tenenbaums stated, “Family isn’t a word, it’s a sentence.” I couldn’t agree more. You love them by default, but you just can’t be in the same room with them. Don’t worry, the feeling’s universal. For this Christmas, all of my family including my sister’s family of four kids are coming, along...
7 tags
3 tags
He's Got a Big Head
Alan: i can tell some of my followers want to have sex with me
Alan: and by some i mean all
via Brynn
------------------------
I'd like to say this was taken out of context but it was only slightly. And I was joking. Makin jokes!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's so easy to get Alan all flustered.
This is probably a one-nighter, yeah?
From time to time in the ‘party scene’ two people quite enjoy each other’s company while they also imbibe large amounts of PBR which, in turn, makes them enjoy the company even more. Sometimes it’s quite obvious that this passion is fleeting. Sometimes you think it might be more than a drunk hump. In the blurry of cheap drinks this line can be blurred, along with your...
L'esprit d'escalier
L’esprit d’escalier (literally, stairway wit) is a French term used in English that describes the predicament of thinking of the right comeback too late.
12 tags
Bat For Lashes- What’s a Girl to Do
Dear...
Brynn,
Today Hanukkah begins. There is another holiday party tonight. If one train leaves Albany at 8 pm going 3 beers an hour and another train leaves from Sacramento at 6 pm going 2 Pumpkin Eggnogs and Rum an hour when will the holiday spirit get the best of me?
Place bets. (Remember to factor in incidents of rejection and depression! Also, sweaters.)
Love, Alan
“I fuck up all the time. If you don’t, you’re not doing things that are hard.”
– Jeff Goodby (via didyouevernotice) (via capricious)
Wisdom, right there folks.
(via indieandyy)
(via lieslieslies)
10 tags
Watch the Whole Thing [Come on, Bitch] →
Yael tried to one up us:
“i will raise you fools the following: - i have dropped my cell phone into loogies multiple times. it’s as if there’s an endless stretch of loogie-covered pavement ahead of me. - i’m also a college drop out. - i’m also living back with my parents. - i kinda like it. - i just made a batch of peanut butter cookies and instead of coming out...
Yeah but Brynn is attractive so she's GTG
10 tags
Winner By Default
Okay Alan, I see your relationship fuck up and I raise you a life fuck up. I’m a college dropout, most of my ex boyfriends hate me, my car is broken, I don’t have a job, and I currently moved back home [with the parental units]. Do I win yet?
We fuck up
Often. And sometimes it’s hilarious to other people, though devastating to us, and sometimes even hilarious to us. It’s whatever, ok?
So to get things started. I fucked up last night. I thought this girl with a long distance boyfriend was in to me enough to forget about said dude. And I put on a record and tried to slow dance with her (Yeah, I watch The OC, so fucking what) and you...
