Brynn And Alan Fuck Up

Here is a big Fuck-Up Story, by Alan (that’s me!).

4 Halloweens ago. Much, much too much Captain Morgan sloshing around inside of me. We decided that climbing over our neighbors balcony and smashing their pumpkins would be hilarious. For some reason no one helped me. They just took pictures.

Next day our neighbor is amazingly upset about this. She’s almost in tears. She tells us how she spent so much time carving those pumpkins- because the orphanage had kids come trick-or-treating through our building.

Oh and she was an orphan, too. 

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: Dress up like Donnie Darko and smash pumpkins For Orphans by an Orphan. What an idiot.